Confidence Class

Hi everyone! Read that title carefully – those of you who lack self-confidence, who always worry about people’s impression of you? You’re just big egomaniacs! LOL! (I say this with love – you don’t know you have a big ego and you don’t mean to, so we’re going to work on fixing that).

Today I have something VERY special for you – a vlog (with text underneath it) with me AND my son Dylan, who is a 19-year old college student. A little background on Dylan – he’s always been confident on the outside. He’s opinionated and unafraid to state his beliefs (but not argumentative or brash like his Mom).

I remember when he was about 6 or 7 years old, there was a talent casting agency event in Dallas and I took him to it (for commercials and TV shows). You had to get up on stage in front of EVERYONE and do a skit. Dylan got right up there and was animated and fun and everyone commented about how comfortable he was. I was in awe of him.

He’s always the person who makes me look at the bright side of things, so when it comes to inspiration and confidence, he’s one of my go-to people. Okay watch the video and then scroll down to see the text if you need it:

So Dylan and I were taking the little kids (Shawn and Scarlett) to school today and it’s an hour roundtrip. We started talking about this new site launch and what I would be discussing today. One thing I wanted to point out is that being so worried about other people’s opinions kind of makes you egotistical in nature – as if the world evolves around you and everyone’s paying enough attention to you in everything you do.

For example, Dylan told me, in speech class, everyone’s so nervous getting up in front of the class, but in reality, other students are just sitting there thinking about THEMSELVES! They’re thinking about what they’re going to say, not what you’re doing.

Even if you give a speech to an audience, where they won’t be speaking, they’re all self-centered – they’re thinking about themselves and how, what YOU say is going to affect THEIR lives.

One tip Dylan shared is that you can diffuse the situation by admitting you’re nervous! So if you’re doing a video blog and scared, say so! It makes a difference. It even puts the audience at ease.

But Dylan also cautioned that this tip is situational in nature. In other words, there’s a time and place for it. You don’t want to walk into a corporate meeting where you’re trying to woo clients or impress your boss and convey how UNconfident you are!

Again, this ego you have (aka: lack of confidence) is a situation where you’re giving too much power to another individual based on their opinion of you. We laughed a lot when Dylan blurted out, “Yeah they need to find someone else that sucks and feel good about themselves.”

That’s so true! So what if you were petrified of launching a WSO (Warrior Special Offer)? You could go through and find some really lame ones. Give yourself a bit of a boost. Afraid of weighing 250 pounds and trying to be in the diet niche? Find someone who’s 400 pounds who is in the niche.

Another tip is to pay for feedback! You don’t want to approach anyone asking for help. I get too many requests per day and if I did it, I’d have zero time – but people ask me to look at their WSO or sales copy or eBook. To give any opinion WORTH anything, it would mean taking my time to critique it – and I have money making stuff to do. So offer someone via WF or elsewhere – or be blunt and brash and rip it apart for you! You don’t want sugar coating.

Now there are three main areas that Internet Marketers lack confidence that I see a lot, so let’s address those.

Lack of Confidence Being the Leader of a Niche

Remember the 250 pound weight loss leader? I personally wouldn’t WANT to learn from someone who a.) had always been thin and never suffered from the same issues I had or b.) was already so far gone from me that they wouldn’t feel connected to me anymore.

It’s OKAY to be a “new to the niche” leader. When I first got started sharing my Internet marketing journey – and even to this DAY – I share my lack of skills and newbieness in certain areas. People embrace that, actually! They learn right along with me.

Dylan made another point – it’s not about “what you know NOW” – because you may be worrying that you’ll max out on information at a certain point. But it’s about what you’re willing to learn in the future. For example, I went and bought tons of books on confidence for THIS site! Why? I like learning. I then FrankenTiff the information or maybe I talk about why I DISagree (like with “fake it till you make it” advice).

Lack of Confidence in Your Deliverables

Know right now that everything online is tweakable. Domains can be changed. Content can be edited. Opinions can be altered. Nothing’s set in stone, so free yourself from that fear that if you put something out there, that’s IT!

Feedback is also going to help you here, but not the paid kind. You’re going to get feedback from customers and followers! “Hey this eBook lacked detail in this part…” or “It was too short (or too long).”

Don’t CRINGE when people give you their opinions (good or bad) about your deliverables – THANK THEM! They’re providing you valuable insight you can take or leave to make your business better.

Lack of Confidence in Approaching JV Partners

Scared to approach people for a partnership? That’s understandable. But look at your newbieness as a perk for them, not a drawback! For example, I hit the jackpot when I found Info Product Killer before anyone else. I was the FIRST marketer to promote it (it’s off the market now). And I cleaned up – it was a GREAT product and I promoted it (implemented it and loved it) before he went to all the other gurus and they got onboard, too!

Express to your potential JV partners that while you might be new, you’re building a name for yourself and you want good people promoting your product like them. Don’t go to just any scumbag marketer and ask for a JV – most of them will pimp anything out and then others won’t want to touch it.

Dylan also came up with a thought for you about opportunity cost. This is when you weight the opportunity against the cost. So you landing a good JV is the opportunity with great rewards. The COST would be a.) the nervousness you feel emailing the person of b.) the possibility they email you a reply of “No thanks.”

Which is heavier? Which counts MORE – the opportunity or the cost? I know you know the answer to that!

So stop letting your big, fat ego (aka: lack of confidence) get in the way of your success! All eyes aren’t on you. People aren’t giggling and pointing fingers. They look at your stuff and think of how it applies to them or how they can do it differently.

Tiff (and Dylan in this case!)